Sunday, 4 January 2015

Someday is Today

Happy Sunday All!

Heres hoping you're all having a beautiful first week of 2015!

I feel like I should start this post off with some positivity, some 'New Year New Me' mantra that is what supposedly inspires us to get up off the couch, throw out all the junk food and become this idealised version of ourself we have been imagining for years. This has been my downfall for the last 23 years.

I used to genuinely believe that the key to being happy in your own skin was perfect your appearance. Skin, Teeth, Hair, Body, it all had to be exactly the way it was supposed to be and that would make me happy.

I also believed that the key to achieving this form of happiness was to eat less and burn more. I got somewhat carried away with this idea from the age of about 17. Bad break up. Moved to University. Pressure + Freedom = Disaster. You all know the story I'm sure. Anyway, long story short I got a little carried away. I won't say this method didn't work, because it did, but i was not me. I was a girl possessed. I wasn't living (unless you count wasting my days away dreaming about food, drinking Diet Coke and reading every word on every page of every ProAna blog/website online. This was not living. I was inspired by images like these.

Striving to be someone else's version of perfect. All I really wanted to do was 'lose a few pounds' but those 'few pounds' became my whole world. Suddenly everything changed, it didn't happen overnight, within a week or even a few months. This look me years of searching, travelling, talking and believing in my own ability, working at it everyday, fighting with my own mind and trying to figure out which side was lying. I learned to be inspired by images like these.

I want to use the whole box of Crayons…even the White one. I want to know what my body can really do. Im 23 with CFS, Anaemia, Tendonitis, Hyperextension Migraines, Insomnia and Chronic Pain in nearly every inch of my body. I am sick of being sick. I know I am capable of so much more. 

So whats stopping me? Why not transfer all that will power in to doing something positive for myself, investing in me a little more. Not taking the fast track, spending some real time caring about myself. So I guess what I'm saying is I can't believe in this 'New Year, New Me' stuff. 

We are who we are, good, bad, weak, strong, kind or selfish, its okay to be all of these things. Its not selfish to spend time on yourself, this is the most important thing I've come to learn. So this is 365 days of 24 hours to invest in yourself.

Don't waste it saying 'Someday'. Someday is today.