Sunday, 11 January 2015

IBS and Beyond

Im finally beginning to understand. This is all beginning to make sense to me. It is all connected.
My body is broken because my mind is broken. I believe i can put anything i like into my body without consequence. How have i not seen that i am living with the consequence every single day. Its all connected, like a web. And it all starts with what goes in.
I still believe we shouldn't see foods as good or bad, its a sure fire way to condemn ourselves to failure. I just have to be aware of whats going into my body and the effect it has on me. I have to pay attention to what my body is trying to tell me. Our bodies tell us exactly what they're feeling, sometimes more clearly than we would like!
All the things i have been trying to cure, trying to find the source of, it all centres from the same place. Food. All the things they've been trying to diagnose me with over the years. CFS, IBS, TJS, Chronic Back Pain, Nausea, Migraines, Insomnia, the list is never ending. All i ever hear is 'there is no cure, only managing the symptoms'. No. There is a cure. I am in control of my body. Time to see what effect all this junk really had on my body, and my mind.

I already know (well at least I'm pretty sure) i have a Lactose intolerance, my father and sister both have so it only makes sense. Saying that, i have never experienced what effect a lack of lactose would have on me. I have experienced what a lack of carbohydrates does, i lose weight rapidly, less bloating, less fatigue. But is that through a lack of carbohydrates in general or a lack of Gluten? All i remember is feeling this way, pain and fatigue is all i know. What would it feel like to not have that, what would we be capable of? Its time to start eating for my body, not my mind.

If you want something 
you've never had

you must be willing to do something you've never done.

Saturday, 10 January 2015

Spontaneity Is The Best Medicine

So, today I signed up for this…

Colour Me Rad 5k Bristol
I think I may have temporarily lost my mind. I haven't run a distance non-stop even close to that for at least 6 years. But you know what? I think that decision was probably one of the best decisions I've made for myself in years. It was empowering. I didn't over think it. I didn't convince myself not to do it because I 'wouldn't have time to train' because of 'dissertation or work commitments' I've convinced myself are more important than doing something for me. Im sure you all know that routine.

That was the second unnaturedly spontaneous decision I made this week. On Thursday morning I wandered into the hairdressers and had 4 inches lopped off my hair. I haven't had short hair since I was about 14 years old, it was absolutely terrifying the first time and I haven't let anyone cut more than a centimetre off it since then. I have a round face and a busy schedule so having short hair is really a no brainer for me but I'm not a huge fan of change, in fact it scares the b'jesus out of me. Why, I'm not sure but I've always had long hair, better to keep it that way right? No. I was so worried that people wouldn't like it. I was worried about what they might think.

WHY? My hair, my life, my choice. So I did it and you know what, everyone loves it! Even my OH who really liked my long hair. I was worried for nothing, I've been thinking about it and debating doing something that I really wanted to do because of what other people would think. Who cares? Its just hair. Its not life and death, its not forever. When did I start taking what everyone else thinks so seriously?

I also signed up for this (aren't I on a role?)

Simple Green Smoothies - 30 Day Green Smoothie Challenge
Im a huge fan of Smoothies and Juices anyway and drink at least 5 a week but I'm starting to really take notice of everything I'm putting into my body (plus they give you 30 days worth of shopping lists a recipes, pretty good right?) Im actually also taking increasingly more notice of what everyone else is putting into their bodies and getting more and more disgusted by it. We're all making ourselves so ill.

At the end of the day, our bodies are the only thing we really have that are totally within our control. At the same time I realise its not about whats 'good' or 'bad' for us. If we see food as 'bad' we'll never eat them, which makes us want them more. Its about understanding where our nutrition comes from and eating according to maximum benefit. Yes, we can cheat, we're all human. Its not about being perfect, its about being good to ourselves.

Be The Best Possible Version of Yourself

Sunday, 4 January 2015

Someday is Today

Happy Sunday All!

Heres hoping you're all having a beautiful first week of 2015!

I feel like I should start this post off with some positivity, some 'New Year New Me' mantra that is what supposedly inspires us to get up off the couch, throw out all the junk food and become this idealised version of ourself we have been imagining for years. This has been my downfall for the last 23 years.

I used to genuinely believe that the key to being happy in your own skin was perfect your appearance. Skin, Teeth, Hair, Body, it all had to be exactly the way it was supposed to be and that would make me happy.

I also believed that the key to achieving this form of happiness was to eat less and burn more. I got somewhat carried away with this idea from the age of about 17. Bad break up. Moved to University. Pressure + Freedom = Disaster. You all know the story I'm sure. Anyway, long story short I got a little carried away. I won't say this method didn't work, because it did, but i was not me. I was a girl possessed. I wasn't living (unless you count wasting my days away dreaming about food, drinking Diet Coke and reading every word on every page of every ProAna blog/website online. This was not living. I was inspired by images like these.

Striving to be someone else's version of perfect. All I really wanted to do was 'lose a few pounds' but those 'few pounds' became my whole world. Suddenly everything changed, it didn't happen overnight, within a week or even a few months. This look me years of searching, travelling, talking and believing in my own ability, working at it everyday, fighting with my own mind and trying to figure out which side was lying. I learned to be inspired by images like these.

I want to use the whole box of Crayons…even the White one. I want to know what my body can really do. Im 23 with CFS, Anaemia, Tendonitis, Hyperextension Migraines, Insomnia and Chronic Pain in nearly every inch of my body. I am sick of being sick. I know I am capable of so much more. 

So whats stopping me? Why not transfer all that will power in to doing something positive for myself, investing in me a little more. Not taking the fast track, spending some real time caring about myself. So I guess what I'm saying is I can't believe in this 'New Year, New Me' stuff. 

We are who we are, good, bad, weak, strong, kind or selfish, its okay to be all of these things. Its not selfish to spend time on yourself, this is the most important thing I've come to learn. So this is 365 days of 24 hours to invest in yourself.

Don't waste it saying 'Someday'. Someday is today.